While its contemporary relevance can be questioned, ¡°Archenemy¡± at least has enough energy to be enjoyable, even if goofiness sometimes waters down grittiness.
¡°Songbird¡± is something of a cinematic cousin to that celebrity cover of ¡®Imagine,¡¯ i.e. perhaps good intentioned, but not exactly a powerhouse piece of well thought out entertainment.
¡°Blade: The Iron Cross¡± pours two tons of cement over Full Moon¡¯s grave to ensure the corner-cutting company has no chance of rising to its former B-movie glory ever again.
Whether it¡¯s being sassy, silly, stabby, or even sentimental, the breeziness behind ¡°Freaky¡± makes the movie¡¯s mixture an easy treat to swallow.
The best thing I can say about ¡°Castle Freak¡± 2020 is that it feels like a ¡°lost¡± Full Moon feature from the 1990s, and I mostly mean that as a compliment.
Whatever drinking game you choose, you¡¯ll have alcohol poisoning before the 20-minute mark. Don¡¯t worry about dying though. The boredom will have already killed you.
Picture a Lifetime movie that weirdly wonders, what if a daughter discovered mom¡¯s too-good-to-be-true new boyfriend is secretly a shapeshifting Lovecraftian fish monster?
¡°The Vigil¡± writes an excellent essay about dealing with personal trauma that gets a little drowsy due to taking scenic sidetracks on every quiet route to a paranormal pop.
We receive a grounded story that gets to be chilling without viewers feeling like they need to visit a priest or psychiatrist to treat lasting nightmares afterward.
¡°Fulci for Fake¡± avoids becoming a plain talking head collage that feels like a bland Blu-ray bonus feature instead of a bona fide documentary.
The filmmakers know they¡¯re not creating the next ¡°Psycho.¡± As long as you¡¯re in the market for simple suspense fare, you¡¯ll appreciate their no-frills approach to a familiar chiller.
It¡¯s a gift that keeps on giving, except that gift is a six-pack of socks or repurposed fruitcake, not quite the sleek and trendy PS5 you were hoping for.
Try picturing cigarette burns, a slight sepia patina, and dirty scratches clawing at the screen. Suddenly ¡°Revenge Ride¡± becomes intoxicating in a bizarro cult classic kind of way.
If Netflix knew a proper way to promote, you¡¯d have already watched ¡°Vampires vs. the Bronx¡± and come to the conclusion it¡¯s the year¡¯s most fun fright film.
A snoozer story centered on unbelievably bland boys and girls sentenced ¡°The New Mutants¡± to death long before distribution delays did.
¡°The Nights Before Christmas¡± still looks like adults playing make-believe, but at least it puts up an effort to appear like the scope is realistic.
¡°It Cuts Deep¡± puts me in a bit of a critic¡¯s pickle. Maybe not a full-size pickle. Maybe more of a cornichon.
Because it is actually about something socially relevant, ¡°His House¡¯s¡± sincerity notches it at a significant cut above similar stories in the same space.
Even with a belly full of Skittles, suckers, and plenty of pumpkin ale, I couldn¡¯t get enough of a boozy buzz or sugar high to find the fun I expected from ¡°Happy Halloween, Scooby-Doo.¡±
Anything above that would be unexpected gravy, although ¡°Come Play¡± settles for a straightforward side dish of unseasoned mashed potatoes.