The obvious question on everyone¡¯s mind is, ¡°What the hell is Bruce Willis doing in direct-to-streaming slums?¡±
SMILEY FACE KILLERS (2020)
Whatever drinking game you choose, you¡¯ll have alcohol poisoning before the 20-minute mark. Don¡¯t worry about dying though. The boredom will have already killed you.
THE NEW MUTANTS (2020)
A snoozer story centered on unbelievably bland boys and girls sentenced ¡°The New Mutants¡± to death long before distribution delays did.
THE AMITYVILLE HARVEST (2020)
The only thing being harvested here is more DIY drivel no different from any other horrible piece of Amityville hooey.
ANTEBELLUM (2020)
Net response to the movie could best be described with onomatopoeia, specifically whatever word equals the sound made when you push your tongue between your lips and blow.
ALONE (2020)
Apparently no one challenged the redundant script by asking, ¡°what makes this different from every other movie about a psychopath chasing a woman in the woods?¡±
THE SILENCING (2020)
¡°The Silencing¡± isn¡¯t a cat-and-mouse thriller. It¡¯s a connect-the-dots goose chase from Point A to Point Z, with every stop in between being a barren detour worth bupkus.
YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT (2020)
¡°You Should Have Left¡± builds a movie the same way Ikea builds furniture: assembling as few simple pieces as possible according to a one-page black-and-white diagram.
I watched ¡°Paranormal Prison¡± because I was morbidly curious about haunted building ¡°found footage¡± fluttering briefly back to life, and look what little that got me.